Squirrels and Beavers

The Double Empathy Problem, a theory by Damian Milton to encapsulate the differences between autistic and allistic communication styles and demonstrate that autistic people do not lack empathy; they simply experience the world in a different way.

When people with very different experiences of the world interact with one another, they will struggle to empathise with each other.

Autistics communicate, experience emotions, display emotions, interact with others, form relationships, and sense the world around us differently to allistics. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have emotions or feel empathy.

NeuroWild illustrates the double empathy problem beautifully on Instagram, but I'm unable to share on here - please do check her page out. I cannot find a better explanation so, in a nutshell:

- Squirrels (autistics) have no problem communicating and making friends with other squirrels;

- Beavers (allistics) have no problem communicating and making friends with other beavers;

- But, when squirrels and beavers try to communicate, miscommunication occurs;

- Curiously, society decided that it's only the squirrels' job to repair any miscommunications...

That doesn't seem right, does it?

So:

- Recognise that autistic people have their own communication style;

- Miscommunication occurs because of mismatched communication styles - not because autistic people have delayed or disordered skills;

- Autistics don't have to learn to be beavers and allistics don't have to learn to be squirrels;

- Communication is a 2-way street - be kind and learn about how others communicate.

(Obviously, this is a simplified explanation of Milton's theory and miscommunication can occur between squirrels and between beavers as it can within beaver and within squirrel communities. This just helps to illustrate the macro problem and how neither communication style is wrong.)